Her Heart
by Lucielore
Summary: Set a few weeks after the grenade incident in Tibet, Elena finds herself overcome with emotions from her ordeal, finding herself trying to pick up the pieces on her own.
1. Chapter 1 - Her Heart

**A/N -** It's going on almost a decade since I wrote something like this. I'm really happy with how this turned out. I don't know if it'll lead to something else, but it felt great to get this down on paper.

Of course, I don't own anything Uncharted related.

For as long as she could remember, she was slow with feeling emotions. When they finally decided to hit her, though, they hit her really hard.

Elena watched silently as Nate rummaged through his pockets for his apartment keys. It had been six long hours since they finally returned to the US after a tumultuous trip to Tibet, and it felt like an eternity during their drive home. The drive back to Nate's dusty apartment went in relative silence. She clung tightly to his hand as the taxi drove them home, her eyes passing over each billboard she saw while on the freeway. Part of her felt strange to see these advertisements; even more so to find them in English. She had to remind herself that she was back in familiar territory, but…. Somehow she still felt out of place.

A dull pain crept up from the small of her back, tracing its way up her injuries. She instinctively flexed her muscles in that area, only to increase the sharpness of the pain. Elena caught Nate looking at her out of the corner of her eye, only to realize that the grip on his hand tightened for just a moment. The taxi finally pulled up to his complex, and Elena felt a lump of emotions slowly build up within her.

"We're home." Nate whispered to her as he pulled out his wallet to pay the driver. She grabbed her things and made her way out of the car, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. Elena took a deep, methodical breath, finding some joy with the scent of the wind. The season had begun to turn, and she noticed many of the trees begin to turn a deep shade of red and brown. She watched as Nate got out of the car with the rest of their luggage and made his way up the walk, digging into his pocket for his keys. Elena swallowed, only to find the lump growing.

With his door finally open, Elena stood within the threshold, scanning the dark room before her. A scent of dust and age filled her nose, and she flinched slightly at Nate's gentle touch on her back. "Hey," he started, moving his hand down to grab her bag. "We're home now… it's gonna be okay, alright?" She looked back at him, meeting his blue eyes, finding only worry within them. Elena moved through the door step by step, taking a look around. She found herself feeling a sense of familiarity within these walls...but that lump continued to grow.

Her eyes turned towards a set of dusty curtains; it led to a balcony, one that she always enjoyed sitting on with Nate during the early mornings. It overlooked a small forest with the view of the city off in the distance. She moved toward them, taking the drapes in each hand and pushing them open. Sunlight poured into the living room, catching every particle of dust in its path. It was there that Elena stood, staring out into the autumn hues. It was then that she could no longer keep the lump in her throat down. She sighed heavily, placing her hand on the balcony door for support. She shut her eyes tight in an attempt to stop the impending tears, but the emotional lump that built up within her finally broke free as she let out a single sob.

Feeling her strength fade, Elena fell to her knees as a hand cupped her mouth in a futile attempt to stop this outburst. She understood why this was happening; Elena remembered the moments it had happened, when the grenade sent her flying back in a fiery explosion. She remembered the white hot pain that shot across her body, burning away at her clothes and eating at her skin. She remembered the feeling of broken bone, the sight of her own blood on her hands.

And she remembers as both Nate and Chloe pulled her up and dragged her body to safety. It is here that her memories fade. When her eyes had finally opened, she was in a bed back at Tenzin's village. She even remembers drifting and out of consciousness to the sight of Nate at her bedside, their hands joined together as he whispered words into her palm that she couldn't make out.

Elena finally opened her eyes once more as they stung with fresh tears. Her body shook with powerful sobs that seemed like they wouldn't end. She wanted to speak, wanted to explain to Nate why she toughed it out for him, but the words would not come. Her heart ached at the realization: she faced her death and watched as another took his own life, right before her eyes, and only moments before she offered to help the man.

Elena wasn't okay. She was horrified.

She flinched again as she felt two hands pull her up from her knees. Elena turned to Nate, their eyes meeting for the briefest second before he pulled her into a hug. He took care not to put extra pressure on her wounds, but he kept the embrace firm. Elena wrapped her arms around his waist, her face pressed against his chest as her constant stream of tears stained his shirt. She listened to his heartbeat between the sobs that wracked her body, until finally, she broke free from the embrace to look at him. Nate placed a cupped hand to her cheek and wiped away the excess tears with his thumb. She opened her mouth again in an attempt to speak, but the words caught in her throat once more. Her body ached as the emotions poured out of her, but she managed to muster up the strength to finally speak:

"Why?" Elena looked into Nate's eyes, half expecting an answer, but unsure herself if she would ever find it. "I-I offered to help… I offered to help him… Why did he do that…?" She begun to tremble in Nate's arms. He didn't say a word; he stood and listened to her words as she forced them out, his arms held around her. Nate nuzzled the top of her head, breathing deeply. All of the emotions, everything she held in after the incident that she was too stubborn to let go of then and there. Elena appreciated Nate's silence, and allowed herself to sink deeply into his chest. "Thank you," she choked out. "... I'm sorry."

Nate released her for a moment, moving his hands to her cheeks to meet his eyes with hers. Elena saw the tears forming at the corners of his eyes, and he quickly blinked them away before they rolled down his cheek. He could only shake his head at her comment, but his eyes said it all.

 _I will never let you go again._


	2. Chapter 2 - Dawn Breaks

**A/N: I lied, this isn't going to be a one-shot, but I might get another one or two segments out of this before I move to a different story. A little warning, though: there is mention of mental illness and a hinting towards suicide.**

 **I don't own Uncharted or any of the affiliated characters.**

6:45 in the morning. For the ten hours she laid in bed, Elena was only able to sleep a total of three.. It was another restless night, like many before it.

Her head rested in the crook of Nathan's arm. She watched the gentle rise and fall of his chest with each breath, and she listened to the soft beating of his heart. Elena wished the sound could bring her much needed comfort, but it only helped her focus on everything running through her mind.

It had been almost three months since she and Nate returned home from Tibet. Three months since Elena watched her life nearly end. Three months since she awoke from the incident. _I should be over this_ she thought, adjusting her position on the bed so she was now staring up at the ceiling. She tried hard to move slowly so as to not disturb Nate; God only knows he needed the sleep too. He's been running himself ragged trying to help Elena as best he could, to make sure she was comfortable at the sacrifice of his own. She wanted to let him rest. It was the least she could do.

Finally, Elena decided to get up. She looked over at her phone, powering on the screen: 7:10 am. She swung her legs over the bed onto the floor, slowly and softly to not disturb Nate's rest, allowing her toes to curl into the softness of the carpet below. The scars upon her tingled with a dull ache. The wounds were healing well, though slowly, but each time she moved she was reminded of their presence in the form of a dull pain if she twisted or moved a certain way. Holding her phone, Elena made her way out into the living room. She moved up to the long drapes and pulled them apart, revealing the morning sun peeking out over the horizon. Elena grasped one of the handles to slide the door open, and was hit with the cool air of the autumn morning. She tugged at her sleeves, bringing them over her hands and crossing them over her chest and inhaled the morning air, filling her lungs with the crisp morning breeze. Her eyes darted around the scenery, until finally she looked at her phone once more. Punching in a phone number, Elena placed the phone to her ear, silently listening to the ringing.

Finally, there's an answer: " _Hey, darlin'. Little early, no?"_

She recently found herself confiding in Sully more and more. Elena couldn't bear the idea of placing more of a burden on Nate. He worried so much as it is, and did so much even though she told him she could handle things. Nate carried so much, yet still found the strength to walk; it sent a pang of guilt through Elena's heart. "Sorry," she muttered. "Did I wake you?"

" _No, no. You know me, I like getting the day started as early as I can. How you doing?"_

Elena took in a deep breath and let her free hand run through the hair that draped over her shoulder. "Oh, you know… Listen, is there any chance I could meet up with you? I kinda wanted to give Nate some alone time."

" _Why, you kids mad at each other?"_

She felt the start of a smile curl at her lips. "No, no, he's been a good boy. I just… he's been doing nothing but waiting on me hand and foot ever since we got home, and I just want him to come up for fresh air instead of worrying how I am."

There was a short silence. "... _Tell you what, hon. How 'bout you go put some clothes on, and I'll be there in about 20 minutes. You can come take a ride with me, and we can talk a little more. How's that sound?"_

Elena visibly nodded to no one in particular, satisfied with the suggestion. "Yeah… yeah, that actually sounds great. Thanks, Sully."

" _Don't mention it. I'll see ya soon."_

* * *

Twenty minutes had come and passed, and Elena found herself in the passenger seat of Sully's old Jeep with a box of donuts in her lap, a pumpkin cappuccino in one hand, and a small pot of African violets at her feet. She suddenly remembered that she didn't leave any note for Nate when he woke up to let him know where she was, so she pulled out her phone:

" _Sorry, I didn't want to wake you. I'm with Sully right now, just driving around doing his errands. I'll be back soon 3."_

Elena finalized the text and sent it over to Nate before placing the phone back in her hoodie pocket. "So," she began, taking a small sip of her drink. "Where are we going? And what's with the flowers?" She noticed a smile form on his lips, "Just around," Sully began as he turned onto a side road. "There's just one place I really gotta hit, and it's a nice enough place for us to relax and have a chat... The flowers, those are for someone. I'll show you when we get there."

Another couple of minutes have passed, and Elena found herself staring at an increasing amount of pine trees. In an instant, the landscape changed to flat rolling hills, and off in the distance she could see neat rows of stone blocks dotted with various colors she could only assume were flowers. _A cemetery_ , Elena thought to herself, then looked down at the flowers. Whoever it was, it must have been someone important to Sully. "So," Sully began as he pulled into the property, "When's the last time you actually slept a whole night?" Elena took a deep breath and watched as the scenery passed beyond the car window. Her eyes passed over each monument they drove by, "It's honestly been a while." she finally replied. Sully took another turn down the solemn roadways; the raised monuments were getting fewer and fewer, and most of the grave markers were now buried within the ground along with their owners. "Still with the bad dreams, huh?" Elena nodded in reply.

"Have you talked to anyone about it? Talk to Nate?"

"I can't. He worries enough as it is. I don't want to add more of my shit onto what he's already dealing with."

Sully let out a small chuckle at Elena's response as he rounded one last corner. He slowed the Jeep before finally bringing it to a stop. "See, that's your first problem." he began as he opened his door to get out, making his way over to Elena's. "Grab the flowers too." Sully offered a hand for Elena out of the car, to which she accepted with a weak smile. "Do you think Nate feels the same way when he lays all his cards out on the table to you?" he asked, Elena following close behind with the small flower pot cradled to her chest.

"Well, no… I hope not. He knows he can come to me with whatever's bugging him. He knows I'll always help him."

"So what makes you any different?"

That question stopped Elena in her tracks. _There's no difference… there shouldn't be at least._ She looked down at herself, somehow finding herself concentrating on the moisture collecting on her shoes from stepping into the morning dew. "I don't know." she finally replied, "I really don't know." A few steps between them, Sully stops and turns to Elena, offering a paternal smile that helps to settle the emotions building at the pit of her stomach. "You do know, though. You're pickin' up a _bad_ habit with that kind of mentality. That stubbornness ain't gonna help you get past this." Elena continued following at a distance until Sully finally stopped at a marker. "I'm not stubborn, Sully."

"The hell you're not. Elena, listen: I've seen a lot of shit in my time. The war did a number on a lot of people, including me." Elena was only partially aware of Sully's time in the Navy during the Vietnam War, though she never heard many of the stories - he tended to keep to himself about his military service since he was dishonorably discharged. "I've flown my fair share of Marines into combat, and I brought a good number of them back screaming for dear life while the Corpsman tried their damndest to keep them alive." Sully stopped in his tracks, his eyes turned to the ground beside him, staring at a marker. He held out his hand for the small pot of flowers, which Elena quickly offered. "But you know what stuck with me? Even decades after the fact, you know what I could never get rid of?" With a groan, Sully bent down to place the pot at the front of the marker, gently wiping away leaves and dirt from the stone.

Elena looked down at the grave marker: Margaret Sullivan. Beloved mother. June 26th, 1920 - October 14th 2001.

She looked over to Sully again, his eyes glued on the gravestone. "... It was when the screaming stopped." he finally muttered. "and when we'd finally make it back to the boat, I'd be the one to clean up the blood." He took a deep breath, making the sign of the holy trinity, before finally moving his eyes to the horizon. "I'm not trying to make light of what happened to you, hon, believe me. What you went through would have broken other people, but not you, you're good like that." Elena couldn't help the small smile tug at her lips as a sense of comfort settled in her chest. "If you're gonna take anything out of this, know that you gotta talk about it… you really, _really_ need to. It can be with Nate, it can be with me, hell, you can get a shrink for all I care, just don't let it sit inside you. Okay?"

Elena looked away from Sully and over the horizon. Taking in a long, deep breath, she mulled over Sully's story. "I never knew it was that bad for you." she offered, catching a glimpse of him removing a half-burned cigar from his coat pocket, along with a Zippo lighter. "Others had it worse," he started as he held the flame over the tip and took two puffs from the newly lit cigar. "A buddy of mine was a POW for six months after he and his patrol team were captured by the Viet Cong. He was the only survivor. When he got home, he couldn't deal with the guilt, so he...well."

Elena noted the pained tones in Sully's voice, and how his voice dropped during the last two words. She looped her arm around his, taking in the scent of the burning cigar. "I'll talk to Nate about it. I won't do it alone, I promise." She understood his concern; it was always hard to see someone you love go through some mental turmoil they couldn't work out themselves, even more so when they were so insistent that they could get through it on their own. Then and there, Elena resolved to not allow herself to fall into that hole, to not allow the despair of what could have happened envelop her.

 _I'm alive._ She played that thought over and over in her mind, and she would remind herself of that fact for as long as she needed. _I'm alive._

 **A/N II - I had a little headcannon going of what Sully would have done during his time in the Navy, and I figured maybe he flew as a med-evac pilot for one of the deployed Marine regiments. Did a little more reading and saw that Sully was born in 1951, so he'd be 66 now (the wiki says 64, but I'm going off the fact that my Mom just had her birthday and turned 66, also born the same year). So that means he either volunteered when he turned 18, or was drafted (much like my Dad, also born in the same year)... So with that rambling done, I thought the idea turned out pretty cool, and might give an explanation as to why we don't hear much about it.**


	3. Chapter 3 - Home

Elena opened her eyes. This time it was different.

The morning sun poured gently into their bedroom, washing the sheets with strips of warmth as it peered through the blinds. Her eyes adjusted slowly, and she found herself moving under the covers to stretch out last night's rest. Looking over to her left, she noticed an empty space, the blankets moved to the side. Nate was up before her, something that absolutely never happened. Reaching for her phone, she powered on the screen to check the time: 9:54.

Almost five months after her brush with death, this was the first night in recent memory Elena slept through the entire night. Her eyes widened at the thought, realizing that she felt well rested as she propped herself up on her elbows. She had almost forgotten what it felt like to sleep soundly.

Pushing the covers off and swinging her legs over the bed, Elena stood tall, stretching out the stiffness in her muscles of her back. It was one of the first times she felt nothing from the scars on her back. There was no screaming reminder of the damage done to her body, no dull pressure to remind her of the pain. It was as though it never existed. _Was that all I needed?_ She thought to herself as she curled her toes into the carpet. _I just needed to say something, to anyone._

"Hey, you." Elena turned around to find Nate standing in the doorway, one hand resting on the door knob and the other holding a mug. From here, she could smell the bitter scent of freshly brewed coffee. He was wearing a pair of black basketball shorts that started to show signs of wear, and a navy blue t-shirt that he always wore as a sleep shirt. "You were knocked out so hard I had to make sure you were still breathing. I take it you slept well?" Elena couldn't help the stupid grin that swept over her face, and the slight chuckle that made her feel like a teenager again. He had a way of doing that to her, no matter what she was feeling. "Yeah, I really did. I don't even remember falling asleep." She grabbed a nearby hoodie and threw it on as she made her way out of the bedroom, stopping inches away from Nate's face.

"Well, at least your snoring didn't wake you." Elena smirked as she lightly flicked his forehead, to which he replied with an exaggerated "Ow!". She moved her hand down towards his neck, rubbing at his jawline with her thumb. Finally, Elena pulled him in, her lips parted slightly to catch his lower lip in a kiss. He tastes of morning breath and coffee, but she didn't mind. For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, she felt happy. Just happy, just one simple emotion by itself that wasn't masked with something buried in her. Finally, she let him free, and their eyes met, her hand still resting on his cheek. "Good morning, Ms. Fisher." he said with a smirk. "And good morning, Mr. Drake." He reached up to her hand, weaving his fingers between hers and squeezed gently. "C'mon," he finally replies, "I made you some tea. I'll get breakfast going."

For a man whose culinary expertise circled mainly around boiling water, Nate really managed to outdo himself with breakfast. Elena gripped the handle of her mug, filled with her favorite tea, and watched from the kitchen table as Nate brought over their breakfast- French toast topped with strawberries and blueberries. Hell, he even went the extra step and sprinkled on some powdered sugar. As he set the plate down, she cocked an eyebrow, "Now, where did you learn to do this?"

"The internet," Nate replied with a smug tone. "When I searched for French toast on, uh… the hell is it, Google? Yeah, that. A bunch of cooking videos popped up, so I found the most interesting ones, watched it a couple of times, and here we are." He made a gesture to the plates in front of them. Elena couldn't wait to try out his work, so she dug right in, cutting into one of the slices and grabbing a piece of the fruit along with it before popping it into her mouth. The tastes hit her all at once, sweet, tart, even a hint of warmth from what she could only guess was cinnamon. Elena hummed softly as she chewed, savoring the food. "Wow…" she muttered, her mouth still full. "That good?" Nate asked before finally taking his first bite. Chewing a bit, he nodded in approval: "Oh, damn." he muffled with a full mouth. Elena swallowed and smiled at the man before her, watching silently as he continued to clean his plate. "You did good, hon. Really good."

The rest of breakfast went on in a comfortable silence. She was surprised that Nate felt the same; he usually went out of his way to fill silence with smart ass remarks or other useless quips, but this time, he sat in the same silence, looking up at her every so often with a warmth in his eyes she never saw before. By the time it came to cleaning up, they both stood, ready to clear the table, but Nate sent a quick glare her way. "Nope," he remarked. "I made the mess, I clean it." He moved to grab the plates out of Elena's hands. "Are you sure?" she asked, "You went through all this trouble." He shook his head and turned to the kitchen. "You do plenty as it is. Go sit, I'll join you in a sec."

Elena slipped into a pair of shoes by the door and headed for the balcony. Sliding the door open, she was caught by the gentle breeze of the autumn morning. Elena always loved this time of year; the smell of the decaying leaves, the vibrant colors of the seasonal change, the feel of the morning chill upon her skin. It never failed to set her at ease and remind her to never take the simple pleasures of life for granted. She took a seat, grasping her mug in both hands, and watched the scenery before her. Minutes later, the glass door slid open again, and out came Nate. He wore an old gray hoodie now, the drawstring missing from the holes at its neck. Elena met him with a smile as she watched him pulled the second chair closer to her. As he sat, Nate offered his hand to her, to which she promptly took. Elena wove her fingers between his own, rubbing at the side of his thumb. Their hands were a clear contrast; hers were small compared to Nate's, pale, and had a delicate softness that complimented his sun-kissed complexion. His hands were rough - not an uncomfortable roughness, but one that signified an active life, a man that has seen and done much. Elena turned their interlocked hands over to view the top of hand, eyeing the various scars he has accumulated over the years.

"I take it you're feeling better." Nate mentioned in hushed tones. She looked up into his eyes, her heart softening at the genuine love she found within them. "Yeah," she muttered. "I'm sorry I took so long." Nate answered her with a look of confusion, which took the form of a scrunched brow and slightly pursed lips. "I wasn't expecting you to get over it in a day. You're allowed to take as long as you need to." He took in a deep breath and let out a long sigh: "It just killed me to see you go through it. I never took you for the 'suffer in silence' type, you know?"

Elena looked down at herself, feeling a hint of shame wash over her. "I'm sorry. It's something I never could get past."

"Why, though? You know I'm here, Elena. You know I'll help you with anything. Nothing's too big or too small."

She nodded at his words, taking in a deep breath. Elena struggled to find the words to explain what she was feeling, to explain why she indeed suffered in silence for all these months. Finally, she looked up, a newfound courage bubbling within her. "I guess I'm still getting used to having someone to talk to about all the shit life throws at me. Someone that would just...listen." She placed her mug on the table and straightened in her chair, taking his hand with both of her own. She absentmindedly rubbed at his callused knuckles as Nate patiently awaited her to continue. "For most of my life I was the one to hear about people's problems, I was the one to offer advice. But when it came to me, I could never find someone to help me. Even if I tried, it always felt like I was being…" Elena stopped there as the words caught in her throat. It was difficult to put into words what she had felt for the past fifteen years.

"You felt like a burden." Nate continued. "Like you weren't worth the time."

Elena muttered her agreement, cursing herself inwardly for letting her emotions get the better of her. _But that's the point,_ she thought. _You're human. You're allowed to feel._ Nate was the only one she's ever known who she felt certain she could share the deepest parts of who she is without repercussion, without feeling she owed anything afterwards. Elena looked away from his hands and back to his eyes, feeling the corners of her eyes grow heavy with tears. "I'm sorry."

Nate removed his hand from her grip and placed both on her cheeks, pulling her forward for a deep kiss. It felt like an eternity before they finally parted. Nate's hands still at her cheeks, he swatted away the tears that rolled down her cheeks with his thumb. "Listen," he began. "I love you. I'll always love you. And I want you to get that 'You're a burden' crap out of your head. You're the strongest, most beautiful woman I've ever met, and you're worth so much more than you think you are."

He paused for a moment and dug into the front pocket of his hoodie, revealing a small, black velvet box and setting it on the table before her. "And you know what I love about us the most?"

He flipped the box open to reveal a silver ring with a small but brilliant blue gemstone right in the middle. Elena looked to the ring, tears flowing down her cheeks as her smile began to widen.

"No matter what shit we go through, we always find our way back to each other. No matter what."


End file.
